Today did not go as I had planned, but that pretty much happens everyday. My plans never go the way I first wanted them to. But it is my greatest sin, my laziness that ruins it most of the time. Today, was no exception. My plan was to be awake at 9:30 and get a jump start on homework, clean my room a little, and plan my lesson for Bible Blitz. Well, I did wake up at 9:30, but I still wasn't feelin so well, so I used that as an excuse to sleep a little. Of course, I was going to be groggy and not want to get up, I took Nyquil last night to help me feel better (which btw did not work, for some reason I feel worse). But on with my day, I ended up waking up at 11, still feeling the same. YUCK! Normally, if I get up and get moving I feel better... hmm that could have something behind that.. more on that later. But for an hour I got up and got moving, still felt terrible and my voice kept going in and out. Guess I had to cancel Bible Blitz. I love my Bible Blitz group of kids, I hate having to skip a week because I only see them once a week for an hour and these kids need more Jesus in their life. So, I've been trying to focus and do homework for about two hours or so and I got one thing done (that only took a half hour). Procrastination at its finest.
Sometimes, I wonder why God still loves me. I mean yeah, I'm a "good girl" in the worlds eyes, but really I'm not. God sees more than any other human can see in me, he sees my laziness, he sees my jealousy, he sees my every thought, every move and every intention. Yet, he still loves me. I'm sure a lot of people, if they could see everything God sees and gets the lack of attention he receives from me, then they would not love me. I don't deserve that, yet he does still love me.
Now, some maybe thinking, Jen, everyone is like that, everyone has sins below the surface and blah blah blah. It's time I stop comparing myself with everyone and compare myself to God and his perfection. If we are to strive to be like Christ, then why do I compare myself to other humans? I want to be like Christ, I so eagerly want people to see Christ in me. I don't want to be remembered as Jen Harwood. I want to be remembered as that one girl who showed me who Christ is. I want to change this world and turn it upside down for Christ. Yet, I can't even give him 15 minutes of my day to spend with him. Ugh. I've been making myself sick because of that.
I have decided though, how I am going to fix that problem. I have a tendancy to go on facebook for a good hour at least everyday. How can I find an HOUR to spend on facebook, but not even 15 minutes to God. For those of you who don't know, I love listening to sermons, I'd rather listen to a sermon than read a devotional book. So, I am going to do everything I can to listen to one sermon a day, then spend some time in prayer afterward. I will no longer get on facebook, until I have done that.
Oh, back to my when I get up and get moving I start to feel better. In life, when we are not focused on Christ and we do not give him the time of day and we become almost like "sleeping Christians". It is so difficult to get up and get moving. We start out feeling groggy and extremely discouraged. And then when we give ourselves the little push it takes... and we finally get up and get moving... we feel so much better. But all it takes is that little push. Listening to a sermon a day is that little push for me. Please hold me accountable.
In Christ,
Jen
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go to your dashboard and or find the layout button. The music I made a playlist at playlist.com then there's a button to share or embed the html or something. It wasn't too hard. Twitter has a button too I think for blogger.
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