.Capture Your Every Thought.

Do you actually realize what you think of yourself?

"I am my own worst critic." That is one of the truest statements ever. We can say what we want when we speak to others because we like others to feel good about themselves and to be encouraged. And yet, what we say to ourselves the majority of the times are the things we would never want to say about anyone else.

At my church, the ladies are doing a study called, "Me, Myself, & Lies" by Jennifer Rothschild. The study is about your "thought closet" and the things you tell yourself. The first day had us think about the I am's we say about ourselves, like:

I am a daughter.
I am an airhead.
I am a procrastinator.
I am caring.
I am ______

Fill in the blanks about yourself.

The point is... what we tell ourselves, will eventually come out in our actions, then in our habits, and then in our character. It all points to how we need to be capturing every thought, before it becomes something more.

At first, when I read through, I told myself that I was half positive and half negative about myself. That I was just being realistic. But God got me thinking and he pointed out that I have some serious destructive thinking and it really is coming out in my life. I see it mainly in my attitude. When I am destructive in my thinking, I pass it along and become braver in what I say to others.

Since, the first lesson, I have seriously been trying to capture every thought and train my thoughts to honor and praise God. Not to destroy his child.

What about you? Are your thoughts destructive?

One more thing....


We read the verse Psalm 139:1-4, which hits me every time I read it. And we had to put our name in each blank to make it more personal, and it hit even more.

"O Lord, you have searched __________
and you know _________.
"You know when _______ sits and when ______ rises;
you perceive _______'s thoughts from afar.
You discern _____'s going out and _____'s lying down.
Before a word is on ______'s tongue
you know it completely, O Lord."
Psalm 139:1-4

Put your name in the blanks and say it out loud. It changes it more.

Wow, this doesn't just mean that He knows me like our friends and family or even know us like the closest person around. He knows us far more deeper than any human get get. Wow. Can you just imagine someone knowing your every thought and your every intention. Even the thoughts and intentions that you don't even realize, He knows them. He knows them before they even come around to you. THAT is someone who truly knows you.

That scares me like none other, but it also gives me so much peace and comfort, that I cannot hide anything from God. Even if I wanted to. Wow.

So, as you continue through your days... capture your every thought.

First Blog, First Thoughts

So, I'm not sure if anyone will actually read my blog, but I'm going to continue on with this anyways. =)

Today did not go as I had planned, but that pretty much happens everyday. My plans never go the way I first wanted them to. But it is my greatest sin, my laziness that ruins it most of the time. Today, was no exception. My plan was to be awake at 9:30 and get a jump start on homework, clean my room a little, and plan my lesson for Bible Blitz. Well, I did wake up at 9:30, but I still wasn't feelin so well, so I used that as an excuse to sleep a little. Of course, I was going to be groggy and not want to get up, I took Nyquil last night to help me feel better (which btw did not work, for some reason I feel worse). But on with my day, I ended up waking up at 11, still feeling the same. YUCK! Normally, if I get up and get moving I feel better... hmm that could have something behind that.. more on that later. But for an hour I got up and got moving, still felt terrible and my voice kept going in and out. Guess I had to cancel Bible Blitz. I love my Bible Blitz group of kids, I hate having to skip a week because I only see them once a week for an hour and these kids need more Jesus in their life. So, I've been trying to focus and do homework for about two hours or so and I got one thing done (that only took a half hour). Procrastination at its finest.

Sometimes, I wonder why God still loves me. I mean yeah, I'm a "good girl" in the worlds eyes, but really I'm not. God sees more than any other human can see in me, he sees my laziness, he sees my jealousy, he sees my every thought, every move and every intention. Yet, he still loves me. I'm sure a lot of people, if they could see everything God sees and gets the lack of attention he receives from me, then they would not love me. I don't deserve that, yet he does still love me.

Now, some maybe thinking, Jen, everyone is like that, everyone has sins below the surface and blah blah blah. It's time I stop comparing myself with everyone and compare myself to God and his perfection. If we are to strive to be like Christ, then why do I compare myself to other humans? I want to be like Christ, I so eagerly want people to see Christ in me. I don't want to be remembered as Jen Harwood. I want to be remembered as that one girl who showed me who Christ is. I want to change this world and turn it upside down for Christ. Yet, I can't even give him 15 minutes of my day to spend with him. Ugh. I've been making myself sick because of that.

I have decided though, how I am going to fix that problem. I have a tendancy to go on facebook for a good hour at least everyday. How can I find an HOUR to spend on facebook, but not even 15 minutes to God. For those of you who don't know, I love listening to sermons, I'd rather listen to a sermon than read a devotional book. So, I am going to do everything I can to listen to one sermon a day, then spend some time in prayer afterward. I will no longer get on facebook, until I have done that.

Oh, back to my when I get up and get moving I start to feel better. In life, when we are not focused on Christ and we do not give him the time of day and we become almost like "sleeping Christians". It is so difficult to get up and get moving. We start out feeling groggy and extremely discouraged. And then when we give ourselves the little push it takes... and we finally get up and get moving... we feel so much better. But all it takes is that little push. Listening to a sermon a day is that little push for me. Please hold me accountable.

In Christ,

Jen

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